Oswald Chambers

So whenever I can't figure out what to read for devotions, I always turn to Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost for His Highest." And it was this I was reading tonight and wanted to share. (My apologies to those who read this blog to actually know what I'm doing during the day. Today was work, tomorrow more of the same.)

It derives from John 4:14 "but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

To this Chamber's writes (in the September 7th entry):

"Never look at yourself from the standpoint of - Who am I? In the history of God's work you will nearly always find that it has started from the obscure, the unknown, the ignored, but the steadfastly true to Jesus Christ."

This is quite a different message than we get from society - in searching for yourself, serving your own needs, finding yourself...etc. At the end of the day we are all lost, none of us know where we are. God is not lost. By turning in God's direction and becoming like God can we ever really know "ourselves" as the extension of God's love for us and using us as vessels to pour out that love to each other. Over and over and over again.

And I think in my own personal search "for myself" this has been the one constant that has ever brought any reality. Namely the smallness and slightness of myself in the light of God's greatness, goodness, loveliness, trueness. And then knowing myself to be part of Godself through Christ's death and resurrection on the cross, which I now know as my own.

That's true living.

(writers note: this is my first draft and most likely my own one. Additionally, I feel that using the pronoun "Him" for God is slightly limiting to the vastness of who God is, however also using "They" or "She" can be limiting as well. Thus the redundancy of using God's name. any advice on how to write about the Indescribable is welcome)

weekend!

One of the marvelous things about weekends is, one is so busy enjoying them, there isn't enough time (or desire) to sit in front of the computer and write about them!

highlights of the weekend:

Visiting mom-mom and pop-pop in Delaware. Outstanding company, great visit to New Castle, marvelous food and desert.

Trying out kayaks with Jon in Annapolis. What a fun sport.

Talking with family.

Great, relaxing weekend. more thoughts soon. now to bed!

5th quarter

in my pursuit to blog 7 days in a row, here is my 3rd blog.

5th quarter. Many people. Good times.

that's about all I have the energy for now :o)

yay

Thanks all for comments :o) Today was spent in a pleasant fog from happy hormones and little sleep. Then the end of the day came, as it always tends to do.

Thought for the day: the satisfactory nature of potatoes.

I had cooked some for dinner the other day and have had fried-potato leftovers for quite some time. Now while their nutritional value is minimal, they satisfy tremendously. I threw some onions and cheese in there, steamed some green-beans, and called it dinner. Because it was. And I am now full, which is a pleasant feeling.

Other things on the docket: laundry, cleaning, making lunch, packing to go HOME for the weekend. It is looking to be a full weekend, with 5th Quarter (a ministry of our church), a visit to mom-mom's, potential kayak shopping, and time with family. I'm greatly looking forward to it!

he's some kind of wonderful.

Six months ago and approximately 2 hours ago from today, Jonathan Jerdan professed he liked me in a snow-filled parking lot and inquired if I would like to go out with him sometime, to which my heart leapt. I responded an enthusiastic "YES" and leapt into the air.

Approximately 2 hours ago from right now, Jonathan Jerdan inquired in an email if I would be home this evening, to which I responded "yes."

Then 30 minutes later sent a message from his blackberry stating "Talk 2 U in about 10 minutes." To which I responded mentally (having just come out of the shower), "I think I better brush my hair."

Exactly 10 minutes later there was a knock on my door. After peeping through the peep-hole in the door and seeing his beautiful French visage, I opened the door and fell giddy with glee into this tremendous man's arms. And proceeded to giggle for minutes and minutes on end.

Surprises are nice. Particularly these types.

He then whisked me away to Tyson's Corner, where we settled on Brio's Tuscan Grille for dinner. It was sublime. Absolutely sublime. The food was good too.

And we laughed, and talked, delighted in food and each others company. I think there are some occasions in life that transcend time. This would be one of them.

About 20 minutes ago he dropped me off at my door stop (as, while occasions such as this appear to transcend time, they in actuality don't and we both must work tomorrow), gave me yet another hug, and hopped into his car, and is en route to Annapolis. And as I sit here typing away on this blog waiting for his safe return home, I remain tremendously surprised, a bit shocked, and happy. Happy happy happy.

My heart wasn't aware that it had the capacity for quite this much joy, however the past six months of Jon's presence, his sharing of his life and time, and his sheer delight in myself, have given me plenty of opportunity to discover how much joy and delight God has enabled my heart to experience. I'm wordless for describing what these months have meant. And I remain, as always, tremendously grateful for Jon's continual steady, reliable, and surprising presence in my life.

If there is a cloud nine, I am on it. And definitely on course for cloud ten.

transition

I was recently encouraged to start blogging again. I approach a new blog with a great deal of humbleness and thankfulness for the four people who will probably read it despite my long absense. And hearby resolve to post every day for the next week - even if it is about nothing. Just to force the creative juices out and somewhere else other than the scattered pages of my journal... even if they make it there!

Here is what my life looks like nowadays:
6:00 alarm goes off
6:05 - wishing alarm wouldn't go off
6:10 - second alarm goes off
6:20- I actually get out of bed. (yes, I am a soft boundary person. ask my dad for details)

7:30 - get to office
5pm - leave office
5:30 - JAZZERCIZE!!!! This is fun
7pm - arrive home. Attempt to eat, maybe get something done, watch some tv
9ish to laterish Skype with Jon. This is definitely a highlight of the day, if not the highestlight, to use the superlative.

I'm slowly getting into a rhythm aka. learning to ignore the details of life which can bog you down and just trying to enjoy what I have in front of me. I hope you are doing the same.

"she's going to make it after all..."

Hi dear readership whom I have sorely neglected,

You are often in my thoughts as I brave this tremendous world post-academia. And what a world it is! Currently I'm trying to figure out how to mitigate life as it is relegated to the hours of 6:30pm until 10:30 pm (theoretically), while arising at 7am to begin work. During those precious four hours I must also eat, run errands, find my way back home from getting lost on the errands, and then muddle through my mess, paper work, and whatever else life has thrown in my direction. For all of you who have gone before and navigated these muddy waters, you have my full and total respect. School was not easy, but I certainly had more opportunities for naps!

It's weird. This week I began working 9 hour days, so that I will get every other Friday off. While the Friday pay-off will be nice, I believe the longer days might be a bit trying at first until I get into some sort of rhythm. Mostly I'm learning how to prioritize life, particularly in terms of what I can realistically expect of myself in the evenings, and letting everything else go.

::

Fourth of July weekend was marvelous. Let me tell you about a small snippet. Friday Jon and I visited Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington, in celebration of the 4th of July. This really is a remarkably beautiful estate, and I am delighted that one of our nations founders had such a beautiful place to come home too. As we strolled around the estate, convenient skipping the actual house as the wait in line was 60 minutes along, we reflected upon the integrity and character of this man who led our country. And while I am certainly there are politicians who still strive to model themselves after GW, the politician as a man of character does not appear to be prevalent in today's political sphere. We also visited the education center at Mount Vernon, which was a sheer delight to actually learn about the man and the literature, faith, and culture that shaped him to the remarkable leader he became.

Also during the day, we enjoyed the view, randomly heard a re-enactor do a question and answer session as Martha Washington, watched a blacksmith do a demonstration on how to make nails, found the water, walked through the fruit gardens, and read every available historical plaque we came across. Also it was pleasant to walk around the estate with my hand in Jon's, which always seemed to be conveniently free and near mine. Quite lovely.